TW: RAPE CULTURE
This is Gary Cherny, the vocalist for Before We’re Done. Which is arguably the most well respected band currently in Mile High (Denver) Hardcore. Gary is known for being a stand up guy that easily floats between all cliques, groups and social circles in our local hardcore community. He is often viewed as “everyone’s friend”. With a giant hug, a firm handshake or welcoming smile this man has won over the hearts of many folks that come around to shows, effectively fooling each and every one of them.
The four above photos are screen shots of messages which Gary sent me via the anonymous option on Tumblr. With the use of my IP tracker and a few unsuspecting questions to Gary, we were able to prove that it was him beyond a reasonable doubt.
To backtrack… I was raped inside of my home three months ago by someone that had been stalking me at shows. This person would call me from blocked numbers, reference what I had been wearing at the show the night before, threaten to rape me and then hang up. We all thought it was simple harassment, but the person turned out to be good on their threat. Unfortunately, to this day we have no been able to identify this person, as I did not see his face at all during my attack.
Now, I am not suggesting that Gary was my perpetrator, let’s be clear on that. What I am saying is that, at the very least, his choice of words was especially poor. No woman should ever be told to “get raped” in the first place, period. The wounds, however, are still fresh and it has sent me into an incredibly dark place.
Gary and I have been close acquaintances for a while (which is why I am more than confused by his actions) and he knew that growing up my biological father was my best friend. He knew that he had raised me all on his own as a single parent my whole life and when he died when I was 14 that my world shattered. He also knew that my foster father sexually abused and perpetrated me repeatedly in my teen years. Hence my reaction to his last anonymous message when he said, “go get raped by some father figure in your life… Oh wait… You don’t have one.”
When confronted, he profusely denied it and said, “I can’t even understand how you would think that was me, EmilyAnne,” as he hid behind his friendly reputation. Upon making it known that there was absolutely no way he could debate his innocence, he asked if we could meet in person and talk. I agreed on the condition that I could bring Marco to witness what he had to say. We all met up later that night and he continued to give me gigantic puppy eyes, practically turning on the water works and confessed while also trying to give a sad story about why he did what he did. I cut him off, asked Marco if he had heard Gary’s confession and we both walked away.
If you read the screen shots, it’s very more than clear that there is direct aggression, threats and the obvious suggestion of rape. This is something that I will not tolerate in my community. Many of you will be shocked to read this (if it gets out) and will probably wish to deny it initially. But, Gary has called multiple people seeking help and has openly admitted to all of them what he did. Ask him yourself, he will not deny it. Now, the threats and words that he used are ones that are very direct. Whatever his excuse, I have no desire to hear it. This is rape culture at it’s finest when we listen to and take pity on a man that undeniably targeted a woman agressively telling her “you’re gonna get what’s coming to you”, “all in due time, bitch” and “go get raped”.
When I first received the anons before we figured out it was Gary, I called the police, suspecting it had some attachments to my rape. They suggested that I file a restraining order. I would much rather see this go around to every person in our scene and possibly branch out further resulting in immeasurable social discomfort for him. So, please, don’t just ‘like’ this post. Reblog it if you can. I know it is long, I know it is not funny, nor is it cute. But, it is important. Even if this gets two reblogs, I’ll be happy that at least the awareness branched out that far. His band tours around as well as plays local shows, all the while having Gary as their frontman talking about solidarity and love. About how hardcore is a place for kids who don’t belong to come and find a home. When clearly Gary is a misogynist, rape culture perpetuating, hypocrite.
They will be playing this Tuesday at The Marquis. Please, support the touring bands, but omit your presence from the opening act Before We’re Done as well as all other shows they play if they continue to keep Gary as their vocalist.
I’m so proud of you emilyanne for staying strong through this whole thing and letting others know who he really is. I think people not only in the denver hardcore community, but people in the community nation wide should also be aware of what he’s done, doesn’t mean you have to ‘pick a side’, but just be aware. People like this are cowards and are potentially dangerous. I’m not in the hardcore scene, but I go to shows with my boyfriend all the time. I’ve been around Gary many times and I always felt like there was something off. Rape culture does exist, and this just shows that it can even exist in people that are looked up to and respected. More than anything, I hope that my friend is okay and that she won’t have to deal with anymore backlash from Gary’s words. He should take full responsibility for his actions.
I have no idea who this douchebag is, but signal boostin’ anyway.